Why your Asian girlfriend wants money every month

Cultural Differences-Why your Asian girlfriend wants money every month?

Here is the video we did today on Qiang’s channel: “3 Things You Must Learn to Retire Cheap Overseas.” 

Oh, so there are cultural differences between the West and Asia. This is Dan of Vagabond Awake. This is Qiang from Hobo Ventures, and there are some cultural differences between the West and the East.  A lot of expats come to Asia and they get snared on those. They get confused. They don’t know what to do. The world is ending and we wanna talk about it today.

And Dan has a fresh perspective on this because he just spent two weeks in my family home. But this is not his first time. He has visited many, many times already, but we still have some, you know, cultural differences.

But the cultural difference we want to talk about today is … your girlfriend, spouse, or partner wants money every month and this aggravates people from the west.

Maybe if we talk a little bit about why and how the cultures are different and maybe ways you can think about it or solutions … maybe it’ll help you through this one. You might be coming to Asia and you’re living on 1500 or 2000 or $3,000 a month, the sky is the limit. And suddenly you have a partner and their family, their mom and dad are, are living on four or five or 600, $700 USD a month.

And if you were two have two fewer dinners out with your friends per month, there might be a hundred extra bucks sitting around that your partner could give to their parents. And they would suddenly be living on a hundred more per month, which might be a 20 or 30% higher budget for them. And you are only living on less than 5% less.

I’m just saying that the idea of getting all wound up about your partner, you know, wanting to spend a hundred on their family while the two of you spend two or three fewer nights out on the town boozing it up per month, might not be the end of the world.

In Asia, we are very, uh, united. We are living with our family and parents in Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, the Philippines, and Indonesia. We always live with our parents if we can because we think this is a way that we take our parents, but some parents are not.

Some parents prefer that we move outside the house. You know, so it’s very different. But comparing Asian and Western cultures is totally different because you guys are all living out of the house.

Yeah, I left the house at 19.

And we do not, we may still live at home at 35 years old. We still live with our parents.

Maybe sleep with them. No, just kidding. We sleep in the same house, but in different rooms. So there’s a cultural expectation in Asia and it’s, maybe it’s not the western man or woman, but it’s to the people in Asia, their partner. It doesn’t matter who their spouse is. If one of their parents is in trouble, there’s an expectation that they help them.

Now, we’re not saying that there aren’t bad people in Asia. Guess what? There are bad people all over the world. Yeah, west and east. There are people that are asking for money that really don’t need it for what they’re saying it is for, we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about Asian culture. And Asian culture is predominantly honest, in my opinion, more honest than many other cultures around the world.

So we’re not talking about honesty here. Uh, you can run into a bad. Yes, but we’re talking about general culture. For example, like in the Philippines, they’re, they celebrate, uh, Christianity and so they have Christmas. That’s something that comes up where everybody around the world who, who’s Christian, goes over budget.

They’re all buying each other’s stuff. And so don’t be surprised if your partner needs some money, uh, around Christmas, for example. Yeah. The same thing like in Malaysia, in Chinese New Year, Malaysia New Year, Indian New Year, whatever. That’s your race. So they were buying things for the family.

And you guys have Ang Pao.

We will give money as good luck. That means to put a little money as good luck for that. Yeah. Yeah. Which is fun. It’s fun to watch everyone giving each other money. Um, so also it’s not unusual in the Philippines for, for working age, um, people to have their children living at their parents. And maybe they’re in the city and their parents have their kids in the, in the provinces and they need money to, to take care of their kids.

That’s another reason around Asia … because of the difference in where the family lives and where you’re working to need to send money back home. Yeah. To refresh you, we are talking about why your Asian girlfriends want money every month. That is what we are talking about right now.

As Westerners, we come to retirement age and we want our girlfriends to be around us all the time. So, we are telling her to quit her job and so, or him, and, and so they don’t have the money anymore and, and you’re asking them to be with you.

So you have to be aware of that difference. If you’re gonna take away their money source so you have someone to play with during retirement, then it’s a lot of social pressure on them to quit giving money to their parents. So you have to deal with that.

Medical emergencies come up all the time. And it’s much, much cheaper in the east, uh, to handle medical problems that come up. Sometimes it’s only 10 or 20% of what it would cost in the USA. So it’s not often a lot of money, but surprises happen, emergencies happen and there are also people losing jobs, and having to send kids to school.

All kinds of unexpected things happen where suddenly someone in the family will need some money or they’re starting a business and they want you to invest in their business.

So, you have to think about all this well in advance and think about how you want to deal with it and maybe set those boundaries early, which we’ll talk about solutions towards the end of this.

In Asia, because it’s so common for children to give parents money, the parents could be at a social gathering and one of their friends will be saying, oh, Susie, you know, whoever Qiang Hui in the city has got some new job and she’s making a lot of money and she’s sending me money every month. And then they come home and say, “Qiang Hui’s parents are getting money from her. You know, why aren’t you giving me money?

So, they’re under all kinds of social pressure, um, to give money to their family. And so, if you’re gonna be in a relationship with an Asian, you need to understand that part of the culture. Most of them are honest and, and their, they, their family needs money and they have, they feel it inside and they want to give them money.

For social security in Malaysia, the government will take 11% of our salary and keep it for us. And then our employer will have to pay 13% of our salary to put inside our social security retirement account.

So, the total inside the retirement account is 23% per month. So that is for us to draw out when we reach retirement age. That money also can be withdrawn when you need to buy your house. So actually when you get to the end, there is not much left.

They are enough, you know, because we have a middle class more so our uh, your wages are higher. Yeah, I will, you’re able to share to save more. Yeah. Um, yeah, so Malaysia has a higher standard of living than much of, much of Asia. Um, and so for that reason, the roads are better, airports are better, hospitals are better than a lot, uh, and so so is the lifestyle overall.

And so, um, it’s just an organized country, in my opinion, government than a lot, a lot of Asia. And so they have social security, but that’s not true of all of Asia. And, as Qiang said if you pulled the money out to buy a house or, uh, other things and it’s not there when you retire then it’s not unusual for kids to give parents money.

And also we don’t know about other countries’ retirement programs or their social security, so we cannot comment on why they don’t have enough money. But I only can give you the example of Malaysia.

In expat circles, you’ll hear people say, oh, my girlfriend, she wants a hundred dollars a month or $150 or whatever.

And she’s is greedy. And it might just be that her parents need money. She’s really trying to take care of her family. And in her mind, you’re kind of part of her family, so it includes you and she’s probably thinking correctly for her culture.

Not all Asian people will be asking for money. If you date a financially independent partner is totally different of course. So those that are not financial independence. They would think that you are their boyfriend or girlfriend and you have more money than them. So you need to support a little bit to the family to help her family because you are with her and she cannot work. So you need to give money so she can give it to the family.

So when you come to Southeast Asia, you already have to have thought this through. Unless you’re, not interested in a relationship and you’re just going to, you know, date casually or whatever.

But if you’re interested in finding a partner, you need to work this into your thinking. Otherwise, uh, it’s just gonna be an aggravation the whole time. And, I talk, I have another report I’ll share with you. Uh, when the video’s over, let’s see, I’ll put it in the upper, uh, left-hand corner of the screen and you can click it and watch it.

That report is called: Why Taylor Went Broke in the Philippines

But it talks about how to talk about money, um, and how to think about money before you come to Southeast Asia.

But I’ll just give you a little bit of a taste here, so you know, it’s worth, it’s worth thinking. When people live in America and they’re dating, they often talk themselves up, oh, I drive this car. Here’s my house. Here’s how much money I make.

They think that they can’t get a relationship otherwise. I call this the big man on campus syndrome. If you come to Southeast Asia and you talk yourself up, big man on campus, you got all this money, you’re, you know, you’re rocking the world because you think you’re gonna get a hotter spouse or whatever, that’s a bad strategy because what you’re setting yourself up for is this mentality where you’re big and you’re, you know, you have lots of money.

So now you’re in a relationship a year later and they’re saying, wait a second. Didn’t you say you have all this money? And my family’s hungry right now and we can’t even give ’em 50 or a hundred bucks this week cuz they’re running short on money for groceries.

And so, um, definitely read that report. Watch it. I’m not saying to help people. I’m not telling you what the solution is. I’m just telling you to need to understand how you’re going to be living in a different place.

The rules are different and you, you, you can’t use your old techniques, in your new life. You have to, you have to work through this stuff. So give that a thought, watch that video.

One thing. Depend on the girl that you are dating. If you date a sexy woman that has nice clothes and makeup man, that costs money for the makeup.

If you date a normal girl like they are, not like, like to put on too much makeup, too many different clothes, you know, then it doesn’t cost that. We have a lot of examples that I see when we are in the Philippines, their girlfriend, their partner, they are very nice.

They do not to have to put on heavy makeup. This the girl next door, I call it. Yeah. So she’s just naturally pretty. She just wears normal clothes, not, yeah. I would say just, you know, normal clothes. Casual. Yeah. Cash. And they live happily. Just one parent lives forever. So it depends on your luck. Yeah. That’s why your Asian girlfriend wants money every month.

If you’re dating a girl and you want her to dress up in high Hills and lace and all this kind of stuff, and then you’re saying, no, we’re not shopping. Uh, and you’re asking her to quit her job. You know, have some common sense about what it is you’re expecting, cuz it doesn’t make any sense, it doesn’t add up. I need to make more money for my boyfriend.

So put on nice. He can put on nice clothes, a mankini. Are you gonna give me different color t-shirts? Yeah. To date an independent Asian if you know, if you’re if that’s what you want. Um, but independent Asians, and if they’re younger than you, which a lot of westerners come and they’re expecting to date someone younger.

They’re often in the earning years of their job. There are a couple of problems with that actually. They’re in their earning years, they don’t want to quit their job to hang out with you during the day. And she’s in the earning power of her years and she’s able to get money to your parents and you’re asking her to quit. And you know, just think that through.

And the other thing is, honestly, if you look at it from a socioeconomic standpoint, a lot of the women that are dating Westerners. They’re not that kind of woman. They’re often not as highly educated. They often don’t have the same economic opportunity and may be able to send their parents some money, but your availability to date a high-income earning Asian isn’t that good because they’re, they don’t have the Financial need if you will.

We just finished a video on Chung’s channel where we talk about what you need to understand to keep your budget under 2000 a month, whether you’re slow traveling the world as we do, or whether you’re in a stationary place and you like to visit part of the year. So go over to Qiang’s channel and watch that. We’ll put a link above at the end.

There are financially independent women in Asia. I see a lot in the Philippines and in Thailand they have a beauty salon or have their other business spa business and then they are looking for someone to be spent time together a finding love that is true love, but they are not that young.

What are you looking for” 21-year-old?   To be polite. I say 21 years old.  Okay, 21 to 28. They are more like, uh, 35 years old. As I’m my age, I’m just turned 37. So, uh, we are not looking for money because we are financial independence. Those are some of the solutions. Okay? So that’s the cultural difference between east and West.

Um, but as I said earlier, I have a report they’ll help you spot if you will. Uh, people of not positive intentions, uh, that, that are not just a cultural difference, but have bad intentions. And I’ll, I’ll put that, uh, at a link at the end here. And it’s called, um, how to avoid Calm Artists, lovers. And really, it’s not just for Southeast Asia, it’s for all over the world.

I think I should create a YouTube video about how to Avoid a Bad Western guy.  Well, that’s a good idea.   Thank you so much for watching this. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Please like come in and subscribe. I will see you in the next one. Next one. Bye-bye.