Is this the end of retiring overseas?
In a moment, I will read an email to you. In that email, Dale writes about how he may have let his adult fears get in the way of his childhood dreams of living overseas.
This video is going to include some tough love to help you retire overseas. So if tough love bothers you, turn off this video now.
Have you noticed that almost all of our friends are more fearful now than in past decades about one thing or another? Many seem more focused on large issues affecting the world that they have no personal control over.
Let me be more specific. Doesn’t it seem like we are spending more moments each day, upset about, talking about, and even bitching to each other about things that are going wrong in the world in a general sense?
Any many of the things we are upset about, we have no immediate personal control over?
People are watching the world unfold and spending significant time thinking about, talking about, and trying to convince their friends about things they have no personal immediate control over.
It is important to stay informed about the world so we can vote our conscience when necessary with knowledge and wisdom. That I admire. But I am talking about something else.
People are spending too little time focusing on things they have personal control over and too much energy on things they have no personal immediate control over. Are they just yelling at the players from the bleachers?
Here is what I am wondering. If we spend too little time on things we have control over in our lives because we are upset over things we have no control over, is that a surefire way to fail at achieving our dream life?
Why would I say that?
Why would I say that constant bitching about things outside of your personal immediate control is a guaranteed failure equation for your life?
Almost everyone I know who used to be a self-starter and who used to be able to make things happen in their life has started bitching about things they have no control over in their personal life.
They used to come to me and spend 80 to 90% of their time talking about projects they were working on, things they were planning and doing in their life, and things they were enjoying presently.
Now, some seem to be bitching all the time about things outside of their immediate personal control. They are giving all of this real estate in their mind to negativity about things they have no control over.
Again, I believe it is important to stay informed about the world so we can vote with knowledge and wisdom, but that shouldn’t take 50% of the real estate in our mind should it?
Okay, after I read Dale’s email to you, I will propose that what we focus on in our lives decides our fate. If we focus time and energy on our dreams, we get to live our dreams. If we focus on negative things we perceive in life, we have no control over them, we get negativity in our lives.
In his letter, Dale refers to one of my Saturday emails where I was discussing the freedom I feel living overseas. If you grab my free eBook, you will be on my email list where I try to inspire people to live their best lives.
Dale writes:
Dan,
That was one of ”the” most relatable writings I have read of
yourself thus far.
So, thank you. “”””””””FREEDOM”””””” as you put it.
That was/is the story of my life since I was a child.
My childhood was very minimalistic growing up on a 27ft sailboat (very
small….most people have
walk-in closets with more actual living space) with just my father.
(there’s just no room for “stuff”””) Yet, our travels
equated to your words….. ”that Freedom”.
I came from a very blue-collar background (ie…working class).
When we would sail, I would spend a lot of time on the bow of the boat
looking out towards the horizon of this expansive ocean. Always knowing that if we kept on going in a particular direction we would hit some foreign country.
By the time I was in my early 20s, I had saved enough money to go on
a very long backpacking adventure throughout the European Continent. (this was BEFORE the EURO… when
all countries had their own currencies and each border crossing was
actually ”’a new adventure”’ unlike today.
Like yourself. I was happy. Very happy, with very minimal belongings
and an open heart and mind to all the experiences I was having. That was over 30 years ago.
Since that very first travel, I have accumulated over 32 countries of
slow travel and most I’ve done a few times over. I taught English for a short time as well in 3 countries.
I have continued throughout all these years taking many months and
doing the (slow travel) as it seems you have coined this term. lol
Now and for the past several years I have just been unhappy. Mainly
because I cannot find
”that” button to push to ”stay” abroad. Letting all my fears of
instability, finances, etc.. etc.. get inside
my head. I just have to put my foot down and do it. Of course, I have the usual
worries about finances and the ‘how’ will
I do it. I’m not yet at retirement age….only 53.
I hope to find my way as you have. I take my hat off to you.
Congratulations on finding your ”freedom”’
and happiness.
peaceful journeys to you, Dale
Okay, in his letter, Dale is not bitching about things outside of his control. But he is talking about fears inside his head that have given him permission to not be exactly where he wants to be in life.
I love how he says, “I have to put my foot down and do it.”
He is not going to give all that real estate to fear in his mind anymore. For me, “putting his foot down” means that he is going to give real estate to things he has control over.
Notice the most important part is putting his foot down. He is making a decision. In his decision, I hear that he is going to give real estate in his mind to things he has control over. Things that move him forward.
He is not going to let fear or negativity have such an active role in his thoughts. He is not saying he knows what to do yet. He is saying that is what he is willing to focus on. That is the most important part.
Why does constant bitching about things we have no personal control over take all the power from our lives?
Because when we say that something outside of ourselves is the cause of our pain and suffering in life, then we are giving our power away.
How does bitching about, giving energy to, or constantly thinking about, something we have no immediate control over, give our power away?
Bitching is all we have left because we are admitting to ourselves that we have no control over our future. We are victims of circumstances we have no control over.
Again, Dale is not bitching in his letter. But he is recognizing that what and who he listens to will make a difference in what his life turns out like.
We are saying that whatever we are bitching about has control over our lives. We don’t have control anymore. We are stuck because something we don’t control is in our way.
So we are giving ourselves permission for not getting what we want out of life. We are a victim to a person, system, or group we have no power over. This is how victims give themselves permission to fail.
By giving up and just bitching to everyone that will listen, we are self-identifying as a victim.
But maybe, we are not being honest with ourselves.
We don’t say to ourselves … I am going to bitch now because I don’t want to bother being creative enough to get what I want out of life despite this temporary obstacle in front of me.
Bitching is a shell of an excuse stuffed with a lie. What we are really saying … is “it is someone else’s fault that things are not going in the direction I want.”
The truth might be, that we have given our power away, and our bitching is probably pointing at who we have given our power to.
Rather than bitching, it would be more honest to say, I am a victim because I have given my power away to those people over there. It is too much work to find another way, so I am just going to bitch about why I can’t live my dreams.
If you spend that same real estate in your mind to figure out what your dreams are and then take one step forward in that direction each day instead of listening to fear and negativity, you will have a better life, I promise you.
The most important thing you can do is to put your foot down. Make the decision. My energy and creativity is not going to be a victim to fears I have no control over.
I am going to give real estate in my mind to things I have immediate control over. Things that move me one step forward in my dreams. I will tend to the garden of my mind and take actions I control so my life will show the fruits of my dreams.
Reinhold Niebuhr wrote: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks for watching. This is Dan of Vagabond Awake, the YouTube Channel for VagabondBuddha.com. If you would like to learn how I was able to turn my favorite hobby into an income that follows me all over the world, watch the video in the upper right-hand corner of your screen right now.